Floating or walking on water?
I can’t decide.
And before you dry heave, this is not about love/romance, or a crush or some totally hot guy that may like me if I lost some weight and get a personality transplant.
This is about raw, real….. Reality. (A place I don’t often visit)
Today was one of the best days of my life because it was fundamentally normal. Unfortunately what we think is normal, is the glass half full stuff, because so many of our families are dysfunctional and our relationships are about mind games, power plays or just plain old fashioned sex. We don’t actually have those hallmark card days.
I spent the day at work with my boss who was thoroughly impressed with my intensive first week of work, I’ve already turned a dying business around and I’ve done it my way. I’ll never sacrifice who I am for any thing, I may be stubborn but I’m also awesome and I know my shit, so when someone leaves me…well let’s just say 9/10 clients are left feeling special, beautiful and confident. That’s my raison d’être and it doesn’t end when I clock out.
I finished work and met up with one of my girlfriends I went to school with, she just became a mother 2 months ago and she’s doing a fab job. She lives with her two younger sisters, her new husband & baby. I’m so proud of her because she’s the first of our group to actually open that door or new chapter in her life and my other friends seem to think she’s missing out on something. Tonight confirmed that she’s actually a whole lot more together, complete and satisfied than all of us put together. The toughest job one can do is be a good* parent.
We ate, we chatted, we played with the baby, we bathed the baby, we played with the pets (cat & dog) we all helped cook, we had wine, we had some laughs and I got to ride my first motorbike home. That all seems really basic, but for about 3 years now I’ve not had a real family and when I did have one it was only 3 of us, and it was never normal or functional.
I guess what it does for me is tip the scales. Some days I’m downright frustrated with how cruel and unfair the world is but days like today make everything seem worthwhile, these are the days that make your life longer ,that give you laugh lines not frown lines. You can’t hate the world when you see a baby sneeze or giggle. So I have one of the best things one can get out of life, hope. I have a reason to make the world a better place, a new generation that looks at me like a pillar, I was there before she was born and I will be there all her life. And a part of me knows, that one day I’ll be in a position to use what I’ve learnt today with my own children…granted they won’t look like me because they will be adopted but any smile and sneeze will do as long as I’m there to catch it.
So… Q) Am I walking on water or floating? A) A little from column A and I little from column B…but no C because I’m not drowning today.
*Good = Love your child, unconditionally so much so you care for their own spiritual growth as much or more than your own.
xx C
Mum didn’t teach me how to swim
March 17, 2008 at 11:38 pm (Life, love, relationships, sex, social commentary) (abuse, daddy issues, hate, love, mental health, mummy issues, relationships, sex, sexual tension, sluts)
“Mummy issues” anyone? And no we’re not talking about the B-grade movie kind.
Well…if it was a movie there would be fewer bandages on the mummy and more on the child, emotional mostly.
When someone has “daddy issues” they usually respond by becoming a giant slut, searching for sexual acceptance from men as a means to replace a real father figure. I know many females like this, I can’t say I’m good friends with these kinds of women because they don’t have many girl friends, enough said. I feel incredibly sorry for these women because I had an awesome father and a really healthy relationship.
However, “mummy issues” are much worse because at least the “daddy issue” girls get laid! *ba boom ching*
I’m lead to believe “mummy issues” happens when;
A) you’re an unwanted child and constantly reminded that “I never wanted you” “I only had you because your father talked me out of the abortion” and “I just didn’t want to be a mother” (Yes, she’s fucked up enough to say these things)
B) when your mother has postnatal depression and never actually bonds with you
C) Your mother is a narcissist and does not know how to love.
D) all of the above.
F) you. Because the answer is D.
In my sample study of ONE person,
moi…I’ve concluded that when one has “mummy issues” you don’t become promiscuous at all, you have no desire whatsoever to sleep around.Don’t get me wrong, you love sex, you can’t stop thinking about sex.
You’re probably a bit of a perv, you’ve read and written some mind-blowing erotica, think porn is hilarious and you know a disturbing amount about sex, and when you have sex* you get a little bit addicted to it. You always end up a bit more dom than sub because the basis of this problem is you have trust issues.But you’ve been told all your life that you’re ugly or fat or just not good enough but you know it’s not true. Finally you’ve grown up and seen yourself for what you really are and accept that you got dealt a shit hand in the maternal department and move on.
The byproduct of this condition is your natural defense mechanism; you decide to have mile high standards for potential sexual or life partners so much so that you find you’d rather be alone than with someone inferior. You build up walls to see who actually cares enough to knock it down, and then rip your pants off.
In a nutshell, you have a superiority inferiority complex.
* and you really need to get laid, cause it’s been 4 years already.Permalink Leave a Comment